Dealing with a Controlling Spouse

Marriages become distressed for various reasons. One of the difficulties couples face is one spouse controlling or dominating the other.

That is not an uncommon problem in our Middle Eastern societies. At one point the controlled spouse finally has had enough and puts their foot down and demands change.

If you feel controlled, that you lack respect and dignity in your marriage and feel that you demand a different life than the one you were subjected to, you need to understand how the actions of a controlling or dominating spouse affect you.

Am I affected by my controlling spouse?

If you answer yes to most of these questions then you are very likely affected by your spouse’s controlling ways.

If you relate to some or all of the questions above, consider the possibility that you are being controlled or dominated, which doesn’t fade away. Instead, it is more likely to increase with time. You should know that the longer you wait to deal with this the worse effects it has on you.

How to identify a controlling spouse?

These are a few examples of ways that spouses use to control:

What can I do about it?

You must realize in dealing with control issues that you have to start with yourself.

Every marriage can be saved if both involved stop doing what is destroying the marriage and start doing what helps its bond grow stronger, but you can’t approach this issue believing that you can change your spouse. You cannot change anybody but yourself.

Just remember that by not dealing with a controlling partner's behavior, you're only enabling it to continue. And know that calm assertive strength will help you change the way you’re being treated in your relationship.
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